Mmmm, not ringing a bell.

This is what happened to me this morning on the train. The two sides of my brain were fighting, like always.

Hey, don’t I know that guy? I think I do. I should go say hi.

Wait, wait. Ryan doesn’t have a beard. That can’t be Ryan.

Ah, good catch, other side of brain. That saved everyone some embarrassment.

[Two stops later.]

. . . Of course, anyone can grow a beard. With time.

Oh man, I always forget that!

So it IS Ryan?

I–I dunno. He’s got tattoos like Ryan. He’s reading comics like Ryan. I think it’s Ryan.

Well, if I go up and say hi and it’s NOT Ryan, then I’ll basically interrupt a tattooed stranger from his peaceful commute and probably get punched in the face.

I really doubt I’ll get punched in the face, though. No one’s ever punched me in the face.

There’s only one stop left! You have to either say hi or not say hi! Make a decision!

Well, now there’s too many people on the train! I’d have to push past that old lady and that girl and those kids over there to say hi and I’ll look like a jerk.

You ARE a jerk. You can’t even identify someone you know in a lineup! What if this were Law & Order and you were an eyewitness?? You’d be USELESS on the stand, just USELESS!

STOP YELLING AT ME OMG

[Frank stops the train at Columbus Circle and everyone gets off.]

Oh . . . he got off here. Well, it can’t be Ryan, then. Ryan works farther downtown.

Well, that solves that. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Getting so worked up over nothing.

[Five minutes later, standing on the corner of 59th St, waiting for the light to change.]

. . . That girl standing right there. Is that Sarah Michelle Gellar?

I dunno. It’s hard to tell.